How To Make a Colombian Mad

Depending on the culture, it may surprise you which things can make someone mad in another country. Here are some things that are surprisngly rude in Colombia, which may lead to you accidently making them mad.

• Refusing candy: Colombians love candy and anything sweet. As a result, eating dessert and candy throught the day is a common habit. However, if you are a foreigner and not used to eating so much sweets, you will not be tempted to eat it.

• Ignoring them: In Bogota, people are more conforntational than usual. For example, random people on the street or in public will make comments about you. Whether it is what you are wearing or a casual insult, they make comments that are indirect, but knowing that you can hear them. If you are Colombian, it is normal to engage in a verbal dispute, but if you really want to make someone mad, just ignore them and they get even more irritated.

• Not saying hello or good-bye: Greetings such as buenos dias is reguired in the morning. Especially if you are in a work environment. Say a general good morning to everyone no matter what! If not, you will be considered rude. 

• Not having small bills/change: You will constantly be asked to for smaller bills or coins when paying for items. Because of this, you are expected to make an effort to have exact change. Therefore, when you have no other opton but to pay with large bills, you will get attitude or an eye-roll from the cashier. This especially makes taxi drivers mad!

• Slamming taxi doors: This may seem strange, but it happens a lot to foreigners because of an interesting insight. Cars in the USA a larger than the taxi cars here, so the doors are heavier. As a result, Americans who are used to closing heavy doors, tend to slam the tiny lightweight doors here. Though not done on purpose, it still makes taxi drivers mad.

Colombian Personality Traits

Growing up in Colombia builds in personality traits and habits that are learned since childhood. I have noticed this recently just by observing parents with their children. If you do so, there is an obvious difference in how Americans and Colombians are raised. As a result, this child rearing causes Colombians to have similar personality traits.

Nice stereotypical image to talk about stereotypes.

Besides the cultural stereotypes of partying, happy, people; here are some not as obvious traits:

1. Very Clean:

Colombians are very clean. For example, they take at least 1 if not more showers per day. A lot of people brush their teeth after lunch and have spotless apartments. In contrast, anyone that is familiar with American or European culture can agree that other countries are not as clean when it comes to showers and apartments. Just look at American college dorm rooms -- they are always gross.

I think this could be because of the fact that a lot of people are raised with maids and just get into the habit of having everything clean. Also, because Colombians care a lot about outer appearance and so it is another way to look good in front of others. Also, while observing a mother and child, I noticed that the child was not allowed to play in the dirt while in America it is ok for gets to get dirty. As some may know the American expression, “God made dirt, dirt can’t hurt”.

2. Good at Negotiating & Business:

This definitely applies to Paisas, but in general Colombians are good at negotiating and at business. Whether it is negotiating with street vendors or starting a new business, Colombians have an entrepreneurial spirit that has lead to a lot of growth in the country. I think this may be about the level of poverty as they are willing to do anything to make money and becomes a habit over time when learning these skills form other Colombians. Also, may be because there is no government social support for the unemployed, meaning that learning how to hustles is a live skill that can help in times of need.

3. Polite, Yet Fake:

I have seen a lot of articles about Colombia saying that Colombians are extremely polite and happy people. It may appear like that to a foreigner who is here for a short time, but if you really live here, you notice that the politeness can be a facade. It is a facade because while that may be polite to your face, they also are known for talking behind peoples back and being fake.

This happens especially in the work environment where you get along with everyone, but then later realize that there have been people making complaints about you. Be careful, because in the workplace people often are very competitive and will try to get you fired or take your job -- probably for the same reason as #2.

Benefits of Living in Colombia (Pros & Cons)

The pros & cons of living in Bogota are surprising. There are some things that are unexpected luxuries and other common things in the U.S. that cannot be found here. In my own personal decision trying to decide if I am going to live here forever or move back to the U.S., below is an exercise in the benefits of living in Colombia.

Taxis everywhere.

Pros of Living in Colombia

• Taxis are everywhere and you do not need a car
• Coffee, juice, fruit, and flowers are cheap
• Maids are cheap
• You can get a good meal very cheap
• Most food produce is organic and there are farmers markets everywhere
• The high elevation makes it safe for the apocolypse and flooding predictions
• The weather in Bogota is amazing and stable, the sunshine is the best part

Cons of Living in Colombia

• Imported products are expensive like clothes, cars, and electronics
• Some people have little knowledge or exposure to international cultures
• Hard to find good international food, usually very expensive
• Traffic
• Eating Colombian food everyday can get old, little variety

Unexpected Luxuries

Bogota is not known as an international luxury destination, however daily life can have its unexpected luxuries - perhaps even better than cities like London or Paris. For example, these luxuries are available in Bogota because they are cheap and otherwise would be a lot more expensive in another country.

For this reason, I have decided to live in Bogota forever. Though I come from a very comfortable suburban lifestyle, these luxuries are something that I have decided that I cannot live without. Below is a list of the benefits and luxuries that I enjoy here, but may not be able to afford in the United States.

Organic food and marketings are the norm. Also, cheap!

Unexpeted Luxury & Benefits of Living in Bogota:

• Maids: Maids here are very cheap and a lot of people have one. Not only do they only cost $15-20 US per day, but they are full-service maids. This includes cooking, cleaning, laundry, babysitting, running errands, and taking care of pets. A lot of children grow up with maids and they are part of the family for a lifetime. This is one luxury that I plan to enjoy and is not the norm in the United States.

• Personal Drivers: Taxis are so common that you could consider them to be personal drivers and live without a car forever. But even if you do have a car, some people hire personal drivers to pick them up in thier own care when going out at night to prevent drunk driving. For example, there is a service that you call where a driver arrives in a motorcycle, then they will drive you home. Other driving services include driving from Bogota to weekend travel destinations or communting to and from work.

• Massages, Salons & Spas: Getting a massage, manicure, or a haircut is very cheap. The quality is good and there is a salon on evey street corner. This makes it easy to get your hair and nails done everyweek for about $20 US. Great for women who like to look their best. Great range of cheap and luxury spas also provide great options in pricing and treatments so that you can go often.

• Organic Food: Since most food and produce is grown locally, the quality of the food is very good, natural, and organic. For example, you can get a homecooked meal at a local mom & pop restaurant and get fresh sqeezed juice.

No One Ever Has Pens!

I don´t know why, but Colombians never have pens around - especially when they are needed! For example, at the bank and at work.

I miss these.

While growing up in the U.S., Iing the was used to always having pens around. At the bank there was always a free pen to use. At work we had a suppy closet full of pens and other supplies. At my first two jobs here, there was no supply closet. Eveyone had to bring their own supplies including paper, pens, notebooks, etc. This was crazy to me. I mean, how am I supposed to work without being able to write something down!

Another thing that is similar to this is that at work there was rarely a printer or copy machine. Usually there is one personal-sized printer next to the administrative desk. Usually only limited people have access to it and you have to ask for permition to use it. This is totally different from the large multi-purpose copy machine that you could make 100 copies and print personal items.

Eventually, once ou bring your own supplies tow things happen. 1) People stat stealing your supplies 3) Coworkers will borrow it or it becomes a communal pen. At one point, I was sharing a pen among 3 people!

At the bank, the bank employees don´t understand why you would need a pen. This is demonstrated by how they react when you ask for a pen. They are shocked and even sometimes rude about it!

No One Ever Has Change!

This seems like a random and small thing that you would not notice or complain about, but it is very evident once you live here for a while that no one ever has any exact change for financial transactions!

Change is essential to every day life, but apparently not in Colombia. In the U.S., when you purchase something you usually get exact change back for large bills. This usually never seems to be a problem since stores stock up on change at the beginning of the day. However, this concpet of ¨preparing for something inevitable¨ is not common sense here.

Do you have change for a $20,000 bill?

Instead, every day Colombians constantly complain about how they don´t have enough change. Whenever you buy something and pass over a large bill, you will immediatly hear, ¨¡¿No tienes mas suelto?!¨. This means, ¨Don´t you have any smaller change to pay with?!¨. I always say ¨No!¨ - even if I do have change. Since when is it the customer´s responsibility to have exact change! It has always been the store clerk´s responsibility to prepare enough change to last through a day of transactions - at least in the United States.

Not only is is an inconvience that sometimes can take up to an extra 15 minutes for someone to locate change, but most of the time the clerk (or taxi drivers especially) are just lying. They have change, they just don´t want to give it to you!

Another thing is that if you don´t have change they get all pissy and just hand you over whatever they have. This means that sometime you end up losing money just because the clerk does not have enough chance. If they are going to do this, shouldn´t it be the other way around? As in, the loss should go to the clerk, not the client. I really do not understand this logic nor why people don{t prepare their businesses for this ahead of time.

Learn How To Beg and Apologize

At first it just seems like simple manners, but Colombians have very specific social rules that are not just for people who want to be polite - they are perpetual habits learned by everyone. They become so habitual that people are shocked when you don´t return the typical social responce to certain situations. Should you shoose not to participate in these social rules, you will be chastized or ignored. In these situations, the habit is to beg and apologize.

Coming from U.S., there is no need to say ¨I am sorry¨ or beg for forgiveness unless you sincerely mean in it is grave situations. However, in Colombia it is normal to beg for forgiveness, a better proce, better customer service, or anything that is already expected as normal. Also, you are expected to apologize for even the smallest issues such as: standing in the way or asking for customer service. For me, most of these items are expected and should not require begging or apologizing for special treatment.

For the most part, it passes as politeness, but in the following situations it is just plain annoying that you have to make special request to demand something that is already expected as a foreigner.

• When to Apologize - Getting People To Move Out of The Way:
  I don´t know why Colombians are famous for this, but apparently they do not h¿know how to walk or have any awareness of when they are standing in the middle of a walkway. Hello, you are standing in the middle of the door and nooone can get through! It is not just me. I have talked to several people who agree that there is no concept of spacial reasoning in terms of traffic, walking on the sidewalk, or standing in line. In these situations, it is expected for someone to say ¨perdon¨ in order to move around the person who is obviously blocking everything. For me it seems odd that I should be the one to apologize for going around someone when they should apologize for being in the way in the first place!
• When to Beg - Requesting Customer Service
  Going to the bank or most restaurant is an lesson in humility. There is no reason why you should expect to be treated with any time of attention or special recognition. For these reasons, you have to beg and plead in order to recieve that same service anyone would get in the United States. For example, if you are at a restaurant, you should apologize to the waiter inorder to ask for extra napkins: ¨¿Hay que pena, me puedes regalar cervilletas?¨. This literally translates into: ¨I am so ashamed to ask you this, but can I have some napkin.¨ If your request does not sound somewhat apologetting, you probably won´t be served as fast. 

How to Rent an Apartment In Bogota

If you come from the U.S., finding an apartment in Colombia for sale or for rent is not as easy. The reason for this is because in the U.S. the process is organized, there are several websites, and little paperwork involved. In Colombia, there is only one good online rental directory that people recommend (Mercadolibre.com), however it is not user-friendly and there are not many posts.

Typical interior design you will see in Bogota apartments.

The number 1 way to find an apartment in Bogota for rent is an old-school method that actually works better than any website. This method is the walk-around-the-block-and-write-down-the–number-on-the apartment-window. At first it may seem that this method is inefficient and outdated, however looking online at outdated pictures and inaccurate information is even more a waste of time.

The benefits to the Colombian method are that you easily narrow down your selection while having a nice stroll in your favorite neighborhood. For example you know you want to live in Chapinero Alto, so take a walk one Saturday afternoon while scoping out apartments that you think look nice. Have a chat with the doorman for more information like prices, square footage, and availability. Then make a quick call to the number in the window to make an appointment. If you are lucky, the seller will be inside and you can hop up to see the apartment. Usually, they are on call because of the need to sell the apartment.

Learn Colombian Slang

You may speak Spanish well enough, but if you decide to move to Colombia, you will notice new words that were not taught in school. This is because these words are slang and regional terms local to Colombia. There is almost no way to learn these terms until you visit Colombia or talk to Colombians.

To help you blend in with the locals, you can use the following slang terms below. Keep in mind that these are specific to Bogota and will change from region to region.

• Rolla/o – A person from Bogota
• Costeño – Someone from the coast of Colombia
• Gamin – A street person or beggar
• Gomela/o – An upper class person, usually negative connotation
• Cascar – To hit someone or scold them harshly
• Guaro – Aguardiente
• Pendejo/a – Silly girl or guy
• Pola – Beer
• Hartar – Drink a lot
• Plon – A joint of marijuana 
• Echar un plon – Spoke a joint
• Porro - Weed
• Noño – Nerd
• Lo vamos a pegar – We are going to get drunk (Literal translation: We are going to hit someone)
• Marica – Gay or term like ¨dude¨ among male friends
• Huevon – Similar to idiot

Advice on Paying Bills

Once you have finished being a tourist and have decided to live and work in Bogota, you will experience a whole new set of challenges when it comes to daily routines. For example, even going to the grocery store can become an adventure.

Paying bills is one of those adventures of living in Bogota because it is so different from the way that bills are paid in the United States. Most of it stems from the fact that Colombian culture does not trust online payments and prefer to pay everything in cash. Therefore, expect to pay all of your bills in cash. This is were the hassle begins. Each bill that you pay will require that you go to a different location in order to pay each bill as cash payments are only accepted at certain banks, grocery stores, and utility offices. For example, you may have to go to Bank A to pay one bill and Bank B to pay another one. Not only is it a matter of making it to several locations to pay separate bills, but also consider the time it takes to wait in line, fill out forms, and travel via public transportation. When you have at least 5 different bills to pay every month, it becomes a lot of work - especially considering that all of this could be avoided by paying bills online.

My advice is to try to pay as many bills as possible at one location or go to a mall where you can find most banks near each other. Most bills can be paid at a CADE or go to a mall like Unicentro or Andino where there are seval banks open after hours. Fortunately, since there is such a high demand for people to pay their bills, banks are usually open late. Unfortunately, the lines are long, forms confusing, and you can never find a pen. In addition, customer service in general is much worse than customer service in the United States, so don´t expect it to be the same.

How To Ride A Bus in Bogota

The public transportation system in Bogota is hard to learn and use. Even if you want to learn how to use it, it is impossible because there is no information (brochures, maps, etc) about the bus routes. It is so bad that it is likely that this blog post contains the most information about how to use the bus system in Bogota. So, to tourist, here is what I have learned so far and I hope it helps. My only resource has been my Aunt – who has been very helpful, but she grew up in Bogota so...Otherwise, I would have no idea how to get around.

Compared the the U.S., the Bogota bus system is unorganized because it is not run by the government. Instead, it is a mix of private companies who rent out buses, hire drivers, or drivers who own their own buses. For this reason, the bus system works on whoever can make the most money, not necissarily providing a public service. Because of this, you may find buses competing to pick up passengers, often weaving though traffic, crossing lanes of traffic to pick up someone on the other side of the road. Other times, they may just drive right past you in a hurry to get home.

Waving down a bus, is not the hard part. There are a lot of buses to choose from, so just stick out your hand and you'll get one to stop. Once you get a bus to stop feel free to jump on or off whenever you need to. Often, it is not suprising if the bus driver lets you off in the middle of the street or you have to weaver in between cars to get to and from the sidewalk.

The hard part is trying to figure out where the buses go. It is hard to figure out where they go because, instead of a map, they have signs on the bus that are supposed to explain the bus's route. For example, the sign will say “122, K 15, Chapinero, Unicentro K 19 , Calle 134, Exito” But basically if you are not familiar with the city, this route doesn't make any sense.

What the sign is trying to explain is “Bus #122 will go down Carrera 15 through Chapinero (a neighborhood), until goes past Unicentro (a mall), then it'll take Carrera 19 until it turns onto Calle 134 and drives by the Exito (store). The problem is that in between these random landmarks, the bus could turn another way to get the next landmark, so you don't really know if it is going straight there or is taking a longer route. It's best to learn the names of the neighborhoods so at least you know you are going in the correct general direction. For example, if you take a bus that says “Unicentro” you know you'll end up around the mall eventually. Other than trial-and-error with the 30 buses that say “Unicentro”, it's a guessing game on which bus will take the best route there.

I really don't think that even people who grew up in Bogota know where these buses are going. I think it is a regular guessing game until you finally figure out which is the correct bus for you. Even Bogotanos often jump on to a bus to ask “Do you go by this and that place?”. If the bus driver says no, then they just jump off and wait for the next one to ask. I recommend you just ask so that you don't end up in the middle of nowhere like I did. If you start to see bonfires in the middle of the dirt road, you have gone to far.